Deal With It
by Kali Cephirot
Summary: Shang isn't stupid. He is perfectly aware that he is attracted to Fa Ping. [SLASH ShangFa Ping.]
1. Deal With It

**Deal With It.**

Shang isn't a stupid man. He does suffer from a bit of being over enthusiastic, but he tries to beat that tendency of his everyday through meditation. Shang isn't stupid enough not to guess what is happening with him… and he abhors the knowledge.

He is attracted to Fa Ping.

He draws a deep breath, trying to clear the frown he can feel forming over his brow, instead smelling the soft incense sticks he put. It's still too early; unless there's a letter from the Emperor or the battle fronts, there's at least an hour before the men start to wake up.

Fa Ping will be one of the first ones to be awake, giving him that damn hopeful, happy, cheery smile of his, cheeks flushed and the boy sweating from having been practicing already and-

Shang lets out the breath he had drew in, very slowly, refusing to let his emotions take the best of him. He is _not_ going to flush, nor imagine what other things the boy could do to get flushed and sweaty.

It's true that he has never been really interested in women, but then again, neither in men. From the moment he learned to walk (several months before the other children, he might add), Shang started following the path that would get him his father's acknowledgment and recognition; he knew he had his father's love, had never doubted that… but ever since he was a kid he ached for the opportunity of standing with his father side by side as equals, ready to fight for the Emperor and the greatness of the Chinese Empire. 

There wasn't time in between studying and practicing and reciting precepts one after the other to go with the other children to try and spy over the servants' houses to see if they could see when the women bathed or changed clothes. And frankly, he never did care to learn more. Once he became a soldier, he heard far too much of just about everything: more than he would have liked.

Shang kind of never thought he'd be really interested. Yes, sure, he knows he is going to marry one day, continue with his father's linage, have sons that would be loyal to the Empire, but the thought always held the same kind of feeling duty did. Something that perhaps wasn't very pleasant but it was your responsibility to do it.

And then Fa Ping comes in for training, with his impertinence, and his smart-ass attitude, and causing troubles just by _breathing,_ he swears, and his complete and utter lack of any kind of talent for anything resembling military strenght.

And of course Fa Ping is the son of the Honorable Fa Su, and when the kid starts getting not only better but actually pretty much amazing (his jaw still aches from the hit he received), Shang knows he should have guessed that the kid had something more in him than just clumsiness, even if he had been sure that there wasn't anything there At All (more than once, Shang wondered if there was any way that the Hunes had sent the kid as a way to sabotage their army from the inside. Even more times he asked his ancestors just _what_ he had done in his previous life to deserve it).

Shang takes another deep breath and lets it flow through his body before letting it out, hoping it takes all the thoughts that are disturbing him. Shang wants to fool himself into believing that all the attention he seems to put over Ping is that; the fact that the boy changed completely, he wants to say it's just that he is proud of the fact that the wanna-be-soldiers he had received are now actually good enough to form part of the Chinese Army.

Remember the part where Shang isn't stupid? Yes, that part of his knowledge points, mocks and laughs considerably.

There is just something completely strange about the boy. Like the way he often smiles to him, as if he wasn't just his superior… but a friend. Shang doesn't really have 'friends', so it's the closest he comes to catalogue that smile. Of course, most of the times he pretends not to notice the turn of those lips, ignores that sometimes he feels like smiling back.

Shang wonders what his father would say, if he found out that his son is attracted to someone else who also happens to be male. Not that he is crazy enough to ever say it out loud, or even act upon that crazy idea his brain sent: Shang remembers that this accupunturist once had told him that he was carrying too much stress for someone so young and that his health could suffer from it, and Shang wonders if it'd be too much to hope that this strange infatuation he has for Fa Ping is something coming out of stress.

He also makes the mental note that, after defeating the Hunes, he is going to have to ask for some time off, as soon as possible.

So. Conclusion of his daily hour of meditation. He is attracted to a common soldier (son of one of The Heroes of China, but still), and he is attracted to a man, and he is attracted to Fa Ping. Nothing new on that front.

Shang bows in front of his makeshift altar, finally opening his eyes, letting the incense sticks burn off while he stands up to put on his clothes.. 

He'll just have to deal with it and…

Well, he'll only deal with it for now. The second part of his plan can wait until that.


	2. Second Strategy

**Second Strategy.**

Shang's strategy to stop liking Fa Ping was quite easy, in the end. It mostly consisted on avoiding the boy as much as possible which, thankfully, was quite easy once they were called to fight, and most of the contact they had had during training was reduced to a mere give and receive orders.

He had almost convinced himself that it had been nothing but an infatuation and too much work (and he had made another mental note to ask for time off once China was safe again) when the captain would get sight of the boy, now laughing with the soldiers, or sometimes looking at him and giving him this… gesture that wasn't a smile, that sort of made him look as if he was drugged, and Shang would be back to where he started, wanting to know what evil he had done to deserve this kind of punishment.

So it came the second part of his strategy; whenever he had the urge to look for Fa Ping, he would meditate, or practice with his sword; the important part was not to let his brain get lazy enough to focus over a soldier like that, no when there was a war to win.

He also remembered that his mother, in all her wise, had probably been right when she had said that he needed to marry.

Shang was finishing practice with his sword and heading back to the place they had camped for the night when he heard whispers nearby. Following them, he found Ping kneeling close a tree, his back to him.

"I saw you!" An unknown voice said and Shang frowned, getting his hand over the hilt of his sword.

"You're overreacting! It wasn't that bad!" Ping said, but his voice somehow sounded softer. Shang shook his head when he thought it fitted with him better like this.

"With whom are you talking to?" Shang finally asked, getting closer, a hand over the hilt of his sword. The boy scrambled to his feet, eyes wide open in panic as he looked towards the front.

"Eh… with me!" Shang raised an eyebrow and the boy gulped, before adding. "I heard from a philosopher that you'll only conquer your enemies if you conquer yourself so… eh… I was doing that! … sort of. I, er… " he laughed, voice deep again. "I sort of let Chien-Po to convince me about eating a second bowl of rice, so I was trying to give myself a stern talk."

"Is that so?" Shang asked, not convinced in the least; but once he looked over the tree Ping had been kneeling, there was only a scared looking cricket. The boy made some sort of nervous sound, and when Shang turned, the boy did the same, as if he had been expecting something to be found.

"You know what's the punishment for lying to your superior, right?"

Ping swallowed. "Yes, sir!"

Try as he might, Shang was never able to decipher how the next set of events happened. First Ping was trying to hurry by his side, then Shang had been sure he saw something going directly for the soldier's neck and he had pushed him out of whatever had been there… and next thing he knew, both of them were over the ground, he on top of Ping, looking down to a very surprised – and blushing – soldier.

It was Shang's turn to swallow while, up this close, he was unable to distract himself with anything, noticing the unnatural way his eyelashes seemed longer, or how full his Ping's lips were. He knew that, sometimes, in some families, if the son was too weak, they'd train him as a courtesan. Shang thought that it didn't sound as something the honorable Fa Su would've done, but somehow, while thinking of the boy that Ping had been before, it made some sort of sense.

And he wondered if it'd be that bad. To have a male lover. It wasn't unheard off, after all, and if the both of them kept a low profile… the mere idea of having to hide something, as if he was a criminal, made him pull away from Ping, leave him there on the ground, flushed and with lips parted open.

_Control yourself! Focus! _

"You should go back to the camp." Shang told the boy, giving his back to him and his wide eyes. "It's dangerous to be by yourself."

"U… uh-huh…"

Shang didn't wait for Ping to stand up and salute to stroll back to his tent, ready to spend the night meditating if he needed to, since it really wasn't the time to get sick if he took a night-long bath.


End file.
